here's the thing about wanting to be a writer.
you have to actually write.
so when you make excuses for not having written in your blog for almost 3 weeks - things like, 'work's been super busy,' and 'i have just been exhausted lately,' and 'i've had lots of out of town visitors' - you are actually just making excuses for why you're not doing something you love. and that thing you love is that thing you REALLY do want to do. so why the excuses?
i've learned that quite regularly coming up with reasons why something will fail, will prevent me from hurting my ego when it does. when i fall on my face, and that thing i've invested myself in doesn't end up working, it's no biggie - i didn't want it all that much anyways. i was super busy; i had visitors; i was exhausted and focusing on getting into shape. and you know, had i ACTUALLY had time to focus on it, then it would have probably worked out.
it wasn't my fault.
but here's the thing about life - it is what we make it. or, in other words, IF YOU WANT TO BE A WRITER, YOU HAVE TO WRITE.
i spent the afternoon with a dear friend yesterday, and i told him it was a goal of mine to write a book. he told me how much he loved that i had a blog, and the reason was because it meant that even if i had nothing to write about, i still had a space to write. even if it were nothing-ness (which it often is).... i still wrote.
you can imagine the pang i felt in my stomach/heart (you know - that exact place that goes 'PING' when someone holds you accountable for something you know you haven't been holding yourself to?) when the words left his mouth. it felt a bit like shame, mixed with embarrassment, mixed with anger (at myself), mixed with a slight complimentary affection towards him... but mostly shame.
oh for crying out loud jamie. JUST. WRITE.
there's this fine line between writing for the sake of writing, and the guilt that weighs on you, when you have committed yourself to writing, and it just doesn't happen.
so, here's to holding ourselves responsible for the standards we set only for ourselves.
and here - this giant cheers here - here's to loving ourselves enough, to set time aside for the things we love... even if it means falling flat on our faces a few times while we do it.
(and maybe there will be a book or two documenting my failures 5-10 years). (jaime - i know you're reading this... so hold me to it).
you have to actually write.
so when you make excuses for not having written in your blog for almost 3 weeks - things like, 'work's been super busy,' and 'i have just been exhausted lately,' and 'i've had lots of out of town visitors' - you are actually just making excuses for why you're not doing something you love. and that thing you love is that thing you REALLY do want to do. so why the excuses?
i've learned that quite regularly coming up with reasons why something will fail, will prevent me from hurting my ego when it does. when i fall on my face, and that thing i've invested myself in doesn't end up working, it's no biggie - i didn't want it all that much anyways. i was super busy; i had visitors; i was exhausted and focusing on getting into shape. and you know, had i ACTUALLY had time to focus on it, then it would have probably worked out.
it wasn't my fault.
but here's the thing about life - it is what we make it. or, in other words, IF YOU WANT TO BE A WRITER, YOU HAVE TO WRITE.
i spent the afternoon with a dear friend yesterday, and i told him it was a goal of mine to write a book. he told me how much he loved that i had a blog, and the reason was because it meant that even if i had nothing to write about, i still had a space to write. even if it were nothing-ness (which it often is).... i still wrote.
you can imagine the pang i felt in my stomach/heart (you know - that exact place that goes 'PING' when someone holds you accountable for something you know you haven't been holding yourself to?) when the words left his mouth. it felt a bit like shame, mixed with embarrassment, mixed with anger (at myself), mixed with a slight complimentary affection towards him... but mostly shame.
oh for crying out loud jamie. JUST. WRITE.
there's this fine line between writing for the sake of writing, and the guilt that weighs on you, when you have committed yourself to writing, and it just doesn't happen.
so, here's to holding ourselves responsible for the standards we set only for ourselves.
and here - this giant cheers here - here's to loving ourselves enough, to set time aside for the things we love... even if it means falling flat on our faces a few times while we do it.
(and maybe there will be a book or two documenting my failures 5-10 years). (jaime - i know you're reading this... so hold me to it).