I find myself questioning more and more friendships. Conversations, phone calls, emails… and often the lack thereof… leave me guessing at what friendships are supposed to be at this stage. Should I be content with the odd meeting, the bi-monthly "update" email (which I am sooooo guilty of), the lack of understanding of things that are important to me? I am often left feeling as though friends don't know me - they don't know how to act, they don't know how to respond to me, they don't know what actions I would appreciate.
Maybe though, this is a process of growing older. Maybe friendships become more distant as we become more and more independent. I look at my parents, and see them meeting up with university friends once every 5 months, or talking on the phone once a month… I don't know if I'm that person.
I still feel the hurt when I'm not invited to something I have expressed is very important to me. I still feel hurt when I consistantly send emails to someone, and they are never returned. I still find myself questioning my OWN friend ability when somsone who I call a friend does something that hurts. What did I do wrong? Was I not honest enough? Did I not make my needs or wants clear?

Who defines what a friendship is? Please - contact me. I need a dictionary, thesaurus, and a code of conduct. Because I'm sucking.