so. it goes without saying that an article titled, "
why you're not married" is going to piss me right off. sure - it's written for those who want to be married, who are seeking the 'right' relationship with the 'right' guy.
does it matter to me? no. any article that serves to present women with reasons for their 'failures' in marriage, placing fault on the woman for their solidarity? don't like it. i don't like it one bit. of
course there are some women who would like to be in relationships, or who would like to be married - however, to place blame purely on women for their failures? pathetic. and reinforcing their lack of self assurance in their personalities.
so says this 'article':
"
Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore -- but they're not trying to get married. You are. Which means, unfortunately, that if you're having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin -- it doesn't stay recreational for long. That's due in part to this thing called oxytocin -- a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm -- that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It's why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn't even all that great and the next thing you know, you're totally strung out on him. And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that's how it happened. And since nature can't discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you're going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now."
sooooo.... what if you reach orgasm on your own? self awareness? perfect.
but. here it is. the reason i've screwed up every relationship that has come my way. the reason i'll continue to screw them up. and the reason that even though i'm kick ass, i'm (more or less - *collar tug*) single.
"
If you're not married, chances are you think a lot about you. You think about your thighs, your outfits, your naso-labial folds. You think about your career, or if you don't have one, you think about doing yoga teacher training. Sometimes you think about how marrying a wealthy guy -- or at least a guy with a really, really good job -- would solve all your problems.
Howevs, a good wife, even a halfway decent one, does not spend most of her day thinking about herself. She has too much s**t to do, especially after having kids. This is why you see a lot of celebrity women getting husbands after they adopt. The kids put the woman on notice: Bitch, hello! It's not all about you anymore! After a year or two of thinking about someone other than herself, suddenly, Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford comes along and decides to significantly other her. Which is also to say -- if what you really want is a baby, go get you one. Your husband will be along shortly. Motherhood has a way of weeding out the lotharios."
well. being a 'good wife' sounds boring. it also sounds condescending. give up on myself, adopt or have a child (
which i don't want anyways), and then a man will come grace me with his presence? no thanks.
for now, i'll just think about my career, the one i want, the one i have, and the training i want. i'll think about my friends, my intelligence, my health, my body (and it's strength). i'll think about my family, my mental health, my happiness, and my humble belongings.
and personally? i see nothing wrong with this.
and the 'right' guy - if he comes, he'll be happy with my self assurance, and independence. if he's not, he's not the 'right' guy.
a love letter for you. beautiful. aesthetically, and emotionally. 
