so, i barely wrote this week.
it was a weird feeling.... this sort of absence, with a sense of guilt. as though i owed something, to someone, and would be able to repay that debt with keystrokes, turned into letters, turned into words, turned into paragraphs, turned into stories. as though the world would be angry if i didn't write my feelings on a specific photography site, or art project, or a set of watches i loved (and to be fair - i WAS drooling over some watches this week).
but what is it about a blog - an online presence - that turns us (has turned me) into such a narcissist? as though the world - readers, friends, strangers - need to know what i'm doing at every second of every day. as though people are sitting at home, lost without my written word, and my thoughts on the celtics game last night, or some witty response to a whiskey company tweeting me.it's all nothing.
i did spend this week being productive. very productive. productive in ways that stole my attention from writing. no writing here, no writing on my other blog (which i'm behind on posting my daily writing), and no writing in my notebooks i have littered around my apartment, my car, my purses, bags, and desk at work. instead, i spent my time working (right.... that thing that i have called a 9-5 job..... blech). i spent my time designing jewelry and cards for a friend. i spent the week doing graphic design in the form of some posters for workshops at a green store that i'm teaching a workshop at in a few weeks. i spent the week writing letters to friends (ok - so my week was not completely void of writing). i cleaned, tidied, purged, and read. yes friends - i. read. books.
it was all rather magical. i even scoped out the internet, for jewelry inspiration, design and type face inspiration, and for general interest - caught up on blogs i hadn't read in a while, etc. and you know what? i spent that time really reading what was on the screen.... not simply scanning to see if it were something i could blog about.
i should defend my mind at this point - i love this blog. i've spoken to those concerns before, and i dare not risk the idea that ANYONE think that i would quit, as this is nothing close to a burden for me. i love writing in this blog, i love hearing from friends that they read this blog, and i love being able to catalogue my loves, wants, dreams, and thoughts in one place. there are few things i take more pride in, than this blog.
side story: someone rather important to me, asked me this weekend, 'if you could make jewelry for the rest of your life as a career, would you?'. my immediate response was 'yes - absolutely.' and yet, it sent me for a bit of a tailspin. as though i didn't realize this before. but what's stopping me?
this is all to say.....
this week i didn't write.
and man. it felt good. i have been feeling overwhelmed. stressed. perhaps even slightly
and this week.... this week it felt good to have the option to make the choice to not write.
so, for that, you get a verbose entry, lacking the typical photos that are quite characteristic of this blog. but for now, that's ok. this week, that's ok. it's what i need. it's what i needed. and perhaps you all needed a break too.
so instead of writing, i made jewelry. and i was happy.
and i'm refreshed. and i want to write again. (obviously, or this entry would not have come). so i will.
thanks for listening. reading. not judging. not bailing. and not thinking i'm a narcissist.
just thank you.