my dear friend and i spent hours on a sunday, 2 weekends ago talking about the future, ourselves, our friendship, relationships, love, fate, trust, and all of those things that can't be predicted or planned - much to my dismay. we spoke about our futures and what they probably held, and what we hoped they held, and what we're both doing to pave our way.
her and i stay close in touch (a full 'i have a friend' blog post on the wonderful incredible woman i can proudly call my friend, Stephanie, coming soon), and we have been churning over several things via facebook and email in the days following this past conversation, even though she is now back across the pond (single tear).
then, i received this message from steph a couple of days ago: "so, you have cursed me. this 20 best twenty (small plug - read 20 best twenty here!)... on it every day. oh mercy. and i found this new blog i love... first of all, she is one of the most stunning people and i just read her story about how she met the man of her dreams... please read..."
so i did - because i'm never one to turn down a recommendation from steph. and it's a great story - about following your heart, and trusting that sometimes timing isn't always the worst thing in the world, if you just let it do what it needs to do (despite what my experience has shown).
there are so many things about our life paths that are confusing, frustrating, tumultuous, endearing, and all of the emotions that inspire words that don't resonate with you until you experience them... and i have. experienced all of them. but there was one thing - something that jumped at me. something that left the page with me, and made me think longer... i pulled from jenni's story, a note she wrote to herself on a personal (private) blog in the midst of her fairy tale romance...
uno momento - hold on. you all know me. i don't believe in fairy tale romances, love stories, or any of those things. to be clear, when i read this, it meant to me so many things about my career, friendships, family, emotions, and my relationship with myself, that i had to share.
this one thing that she remembered, and that she trusted...
"I have learned to listen to my heart. I have learned that if you never make room for better things and better ways to be, if you never clear out the things in your life that stand in the way of your happiness, then you are not aligning your universe to allow for amazing things. In this life, you don’t find yourself. You create yourself. And the same goes for love: you don’t find love, you create a road for love to travel and wait for it to come."
i do believe in love. i believe in loving my friends - and that means showing and telling them as often as possible. i believe in loving my family - through thick and thin, no matter who or what seems to step in the way. i believe in loving food - respecting where it comes from, and the amazing things we are exposed to every day, which is a privilege. i believe in loving movies - finding unknown movies that serve as the dreams of their film makers, and pouring over their every details, and loving even those movies that we feel we should be embarrassed to love. i believe in loving music - loving any kind of music i want, loving rap, hip-hop- pop, country, soul, jazz, rock, and everything in believe. i believe in loving strangers - loving their idiosyncrasies, their faults, unknowns, and their smiles and laughs. i believe in loving men - men who have taught me things, and men who i have been in relationships with, and what they brought to my life, and who they left me as.
but perhaps most importantly, i believe in loving myself. i believe in loving my mind - loving it enough to spend time on putting things into it on a daily basis, and giving it an outlet to let things out on a daily basis. i believe in loving my body - and that means what i do to it, and what i put into it. i believe in loving my personality - learning that who i am is who i am, and if people don't like it, then they're missing out on the real me. I believe in loving the things that i love - and being ok with loving those things... and not ashamed of them.
i write this blog for a lot of reasons, but have only recently realized that people read it. and whether that's a great thing, or a scary thing, it's part of the reason that we all write. so then, in reading jenni's blog further, she posted this quote:
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| image from weheartit.com/ |
then, i received this message from steph a couple of days ago: "so, you have cursed me. this 20 best twenty (small plug - read 20 best twenty here!)... on it every day. oh mercy. and i found this new blog i love... first of all, she is one of the most stunning people and i just read her story about how she met the man of her dreams... please read..."
so i did - because i'm never one to turn down a recommendation from steph. and it's a great story - about following your heart, and trusting that sometimes timing isn't always the worst thing in the world, if you just let it do what it needs to do (despite what my experience has shown).
 |
| image from weheartit.com/ |
uno momento - hold on. you all know me. i don't believe in fairy tale romances, love stories, or any of those things. to be clear, when i read this, it meant to me so many things about my career, friendships, family, emotions, and my relationship with myself, that i had to share.
this one thing that she remembered, and that she trusted...
"I have learned to listen to my heart. I have learned that if you never make room for better things and better ways to be, if you never clear out the things in your life that stand in the way of your happiness, then you are not aligning your universe to allow for amazing things. In this life, you don’t find yourself. You create yourself. And the same goes for love: you don’t find love, you create a road for love to travel and wait for it to come."
i do believe in love. i believe in loving my friends - and that means showing and telling them as often as possible. i believe in loving my family - through thick and thin, no matter who or what seems to step in the way. i believe in loving food - respecting where it comes from, and the amazing things we are exposed to every day, which is a privilege. i believe in loving movies - finding unknown movies that serve as the dreams of their film makers, and pouring over their every details, and loving even those movies that we feel we should be embarrassed to love. i believe in loving music - loving any kind of music i want, loving rap, hip-hop- pop, country, soul, jazz, rock, and everything in believe. i believe in loving strangers - loving their idiosyncrasies, their faults, unknowns, and their smiles and laughs. i believe in loving men - men who have taught me things, and men who i have been in relationships with, and what they brought to my life, and who they left me as.
but perhaps most importantly, i believe in loving myself. i believe in loving my mind - loving it enough to spend time on putting things into it on a daily basis, and giving it an outlet to let things out on a daily basis. i believe in loving my body - and that means what i do to it, and what i put into it. i believe in loving my personality - learning that who i am is who i am, and if people don't like it, then they're missing out on the real me. I believe in loving the things that i love - and being ok with loving those things... and not ashamed of them.
i write this blog for a lot of reasons, but have only recently realized that people read it. and whether that's a great thing, or a scary thing, it's part of the reason that we all write. so then, in reading jenni's blog further, she posted this quote:
“Everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”- Sylvia Plath
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| image from weheartit.com/ |
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| image from weheartit.com |
not only is it one of my favourite poets of all time, but it meant so much. my creativity is starting to become a huge cornerstone of my life right now, and i'm only now learning to embrace and reflect on this... and the only thing standing in my way on the path is my personal self doubt - in regards to how my creativity will progress, how my creativity will present itself, and how my creativity will end up.
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| image from weheartit.com/ |
so, for now, i'm taking self-doubt down, and just doing it. because, "you don’t find love, you create a road for love to travel and wait for it to come"... and without that thing standing in the way, i'm making a road, and using all my guts to do it.