“to laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children… to leave the world a better place… to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Maybe because I have a ton of time on my hands, or maybe because I’m not particularly satisfied with where I am in life right now… but for whatever reason, i’ve spent large amounts of time reflecting on this year… 2010 was a crazy one. It was filled with valleys and mountains, swiftly moving rivers, as well as calm streams and ponds. It was filled with sunrises and sunsets, starry skies, and lunar eclipses. With memories of birthdays, funerals, recovery and illnesses. It’s hard to go a full year, without all of the above.
One relationship ended, but with that came different relationships – deeper ones with friends, closer ones with family, and a more mature and complex one with greig.
Another relationship began and ended – with more sadness than I ever imagined could come from so much happiness. Friendships flourished and wained – I experienced moments of frustration, joy, pain, laughter, pride, sorrow. I experienced ups and downs in health, and with that came worries and nerves emotionally – about the future, and what that meant. I initiated projects at work, and I worked late. A lot.
Valley: searching for a place to rent and depending on others to live on their couches. Putting myself in a vulnerable position in order to be good to myself, and trust that my friendships would provide the support that i needed.
Mountain: to move forward over health issue after health issue... and to keep climbing when i was told that mountain will turn into a cliff shortly. and learning to grab hold as hard as i can... to pull myself back up.
Swiftly moving rivers: work has drawn me along in and amongst the waves... and i found myself working late nights, and stressed out... and yet the excitement keeps me going. allows me to escape reality.
Calm streams and ponds: i regained an appreciation for reading, and sitting still, when i hurt my back. time for me. which is a lesson i needed to slow down...
Sunrises: beginning of a new relationship; the beginning of my friendship with the ‘sphectrum’
Sunsets: the end of greig and my relationship as we knew it; the end of another relationship… which I am still waiting to see the sunrise again after.
each year provides us with the oppourtunity to renew what we have... and i will be using this new year as mine... to renew what is important to me. to use what i learned to be the best me i can be - and be true to myself... and move forward with strength.