a film in cuba

i took some film to cuba... 'cause i love it. and with that film, i took some photos. and captured the bits of haunting feeling i had the entire time i was there. feelings of a country that was sewing up it's seams, and holding together the bits where most would have fallen apart. such respect for the country and the people.... and i hope this shows the beauty, and the haunting bits.
i only wish i had more than 1 film. wish i had brought 1 for every day i was there.

an announcement.

i've alluded to it, and i'm sure most of the people close to me are not surprised. it's been a long time coming, and a much needed change in my life...
but it's only now i've been able to announce. 
i'm moving across the country. 
i'm selling most of what i own (some of which has gone already), including my car, clothes, books, and so many other things in my home, and i'm driving across the country, to start a new chapter in my life.... in one of my favourite cities in the world - vancouver.
of course, there are reasons i had to wait - obligatory work commitments  the respect of telling friends who i needed to tell face-to-face, and all of the things that come along with a life change... but it's something i've been thinking about for almost 2 years, and planning for almost a year now. and the time is right. the time is now.
there are so many reasons, and i'm sure i'll spend the next month explaining some of them, while i prepare for my move... but what it comes down to is happiness. pure and unadulterated happiness. i need time to spend fixing my back, which i have not been allowed here in toronto - at no one's fault, but my own pride. 
new beginnings are key. and i'm getting one.

my (unintentionally long) weekend in summary

this weekend was a melancholy one - filled with scary things, sad things, blah things, and of course, happy things (as life always is, when you look hard enough). i was sad when it ended, and was glad it was over.
quesadilla night; break from sourcing outdoor equipment, and driving lessons; family dinner - the veggie sisters plate; my sister and i have a zombie obsession (from kelly's instagram); beading all day sunday.
thursday: because of an unexpected doctors appt, i left work at noon on thursday, and began my long weekend. was able to make it home in time for a quick stop for some photo drop off, and new chain pick up, then off to the drs. then, even though it was totally different than our original plans, i was able to hang out with my friend lisa, and her two little munchkins - walking in the snow, watching tv, making some dinner, and eating fruit. life with kids is so much easier. then, when lisa headed off for her appt, i met with jeff at my parent's place - where my sister and her friend were too. we spent the evening eating thai/chinese food, watching the hockey game, catching up, and then watching 'life' late into the night.
friday: woke up fairly early, and embarked on my day of nothing. i was supposed to go visit a friend who recently lost her father, but as plans changed, i ended up with a day to myself (can you imagine?!?!). after a big breakfast, jeff and i visited my sister at work, where she is a brand rep for sports gear. she had put aside some hiking boots for me, as she knew i was looking for some (after mine disappeared into thin air). after some convincing, i bought both - and some new socks. jeff scored an amazing biking jacket for less than half of what it should have been (if you're in the area, check out their sales - the deals are UNREAL. i'm talking hiking boots - regularly $139, for $50). we then stopped at my parent's place (and bulk barn for high school style snacks), i packed up some stuff, and headed to his parent's for the night. we whipped up some quesadillas (which i haven't had in a million years), and watched james bond while eating candy. it was a pretty early night.
saturday: after an early wake up, and a yoga class, and some leftovers for lunch, i packed up, and headed out for a stop at MEC. then, after a quick refresh at tim hortons, we stopped for a brief manual driving lesson. let's just say, while jeff was impressed (apparently), i am a HORRIBLE learner. it was short and sweet. we headed back to my parents in time for their arrival home from vacation - a week in florida with my little sister. we spent a family night eating massive amounts of food (with jeff, and my sister's friend), and then hanging out until the wee hours of the morning playing iPad games, and talking in my sister's room. it was a late late night, when kelly finally called it on account of work.
sunday: slept in. finally. it was needed, and i still spent the day feeling blah. i literally spent the day watching movies (jeff who lives at home; friends with kids; the punisher), working on some bead work that i'm doing for a friend, and eating. all day. eating. spaghetti for dinner, some red carpet viewing with my mom, and then sunday night fairly early to bed.
hope everyone had a great weekend - the weather was lovely (here), and i hope you all had plans galore!

oops friday i missed you

... and because every week needs a bit of mindlessness.
the oscars last night, and ben affleck's speech made me think of 2 things:
1. canada is awesome.
and
2. ben affleck and matt damon's oscar speech.
guys. if you haven't ever seen this, please watch.
THIS. this is what the oscars should be about. THIS is what the world should be about. excitement  doing what you love, and are passionate about. being excited, and not quelling that excitement, regardless of the environment you're in. hugging long and hard. and bringing your mom as a date to everything. plus, it was 16 years ago (WHAT?!?!) and they look like children.
and, because i like speeches... some of my all time faves: sean penn's speech on winning for his role in milk - because he is never ashamed, and never ever should be; jamie foxx, on winning for playing ray charles, and for thanking the person who taught him to be a good person; steven soderbergh winning best director as traffic - for thanking anyone who uses part of their day to make art; frances mcdormand, who so so eloquently proved as the perfect female winner in her speech alone; and hilary swank - because i love her, i love this movie, and she did politics at the oscars perfectly.
that's all. happy late friday. hope everyone's weekend was delightful!

i made a dear friend a gift

so as i've mentioned a few times before, i'm working vigorously to purge unneeded things from my apt. it's brought me upon things that i'd forgotten about, things i'd pushed aside, and things i WISH i had purged long ago. it's also encouraged me to completed tasks and project that have been sitting - unfinished and a bit neglected - for long long amounts of time. and, on a sort of unrelated, i've been staring at a binder for over a year - a binder filled with memories of a wedding i was part of, over a year ago. things i had tried to encourage myself to compile into a meaningful gift to the bride... which i had basically ignored for a year.
so finally, when i was purging in regions (this is what it has come to in my little apartment), i took the binder into my hand, and had to make a choice - toss, or commit to?
so i did it. i spent a few hours, and the book made itself. I had already collected notes from friends, family members, and bridesmaids during the shower, bachelorette and wedding... i also kept receipts, napkins, invitations, and other keepsakes during the planning. it made the whole thing easier. i kept it simple and streamlined - that way, if she had already made a wedding album, she could just slip these pages into it... neutrals were my choice. it also helped when i was including things like the neon pink napkins from her bachelorette, and the neon coloured invite and notes from her 80's style shower.
and, while it pained me a bit, i also included handwritten notes. my notes from our original visit to the dress shop, notes from my planning of the events, and i included a few snippets of text here and there.... i feel like it wouldn't be from me, if it didn't include the handwriting/printing that my friends always comment on (i'm a bit infamous for my handwritten notes).
it came together finally... and i was relieved. though it was a fortune to ship it (MARY - MOVE BACK HERE FROM CALIFORNIA!), it was worth it. i included a note... i wanted her to know why i did it, why it was late, and what it meant to me... so the first thing she would find would be a hand written note, when she opened her package.
in my note to her, i said this (with some edits - some things are for friend eyes only!):
"i always have the greatest of intentions. i collect things from trips and memorable occasions, and have grand plans to turn them into photo collages, scrapbooks, memory frames and all those martha stewart type things that we all wish we had 36 hours a day of free time to complete. 
so, i saved all these things from your wedding, and then they sat. i started to compile them all about 9 months after your wedding, and had everything in a binder, with scrapbook paper everywhere.... and then life got very busy, jewelry sales went crazy, and it was put aside again. 
so then. 
i started purging. i was going through clothes, books, photoframes, etc. while trying to purge & clean my apartment... and i found your binder. my friend who was helping me said, 'jamie, are you REALLY ever going to finish that?? just toss it!' but i couldn't. there was something in me that coudln't part with all of the memories - all of the receipts, notes on love. the invitations and emails, and the notes on the dresses that we fought so hard for. i coudln't do it.
so instead - since i knew it was worth it to me - i buckled down. covered myself in glue and sparkles. printed photos and spent hours on placement and location of photos. and finished it. 
you may receive this in the mail, and not want it. you may toss it once you look at it once. and that's totally fine! but i wanted you to see it all. i wanted you to know how much spending your day with you two meant to me. i spent hours and hours, and just wanted everything to be perfect for you both... and i just hope that's what this stack of memories conveys."
a perfect way to purge your home of the things we save from special events... and goodness knows, this friend was elated when she received it in the mail. heck... i want one too now!

update: miss mary received her gift. and was elated! love that she loves it... and now i can google over it when i come visit :)