it's been a rough bit. a few things have happened recently that have impacted me more than i ever thought they would (though i never anticipated them happening). things that have been weighing on me day and night, with no rest for the brain.
and last time i was bummed, i wrote this
ode to the little things in my life that i love. and it helped. more than i thought it would. and in trying to find a blog entry, i found this one. at the right time. and i thought, 'what the hell? this can be a regular for me'. and hey - it's cheaper than therapy and my long distance phone bills (in the past 6 months).
and forgive me - one of the things i've learned in the past (almost) 2 years, when i hurt my back, and the following chaos that has consumed my life.... sometimes it's ok to just be sad. sometimes it's ok to just sit and cry. and once you cry, it'll feel better. maybe not a million times better, but even just a little bit. and if it feels a little bit better, then it worked. and sometimes, you have to walk and buy 3 cupcakes, and eat them all yourself. and get the ones with the neon icing because it's all about you. so there.
but the crying has happened. and now, it's time for the things that are kick ass in the little teensy awesome life that i get to live. so to all you
things i love and make me happy - i'm sorry if it doesn't seem lately like i've been really thinking about you, but rest assured i have. lots and lots! but still, i owe you this ode to your awesome:
i super dig you vegan cupcakes with birthday candles in them - because even though i am not one for being the centre of attention, you make saturdays with friends so much more fun, and you end in me getting to eat delicious morsels of caramel. and you remind me that being vegan can be 'giving up' some things, but it usually (more often) means
getting to try things i may never have had to try otherwise.
i super dig you, heartshaped mousepad. i bought you on a whim for 25 cents at loblaws, far after valentines day (my all time fave), and everytime i get grumpy at work (which seems to be more frequent lately) i accidentally catch a glance of you -
sitting there, all cute with your little red, white and pink polka dots - and i accidentally smile. even when i'm trying my darnedest not to. you know how cute you are, right?
i super dig you, photo of the mountains on my desk. you were given to me by someone very important, and you remind me of a trip. you also remind me that life can change in an instant (and how very lucky i am!), while also reminding me that
there is always somewhere to escape to. and all you do is sit there, be nice, and pretty, and blue. but i look at you - next to my little shell from that same trip - and i smile.
you da best.
i super dig you, letterpress drawer insert turned 'on-the-go' jewelry project holder. i dig you because you represent hours of productivity in the past (from those letterpressers of yesteryear), and i dig you because you inspired me to complete hours of productivity to fill you up.
i love the way you smell like a sauna, and i love the way you present all my 'todos' in a way that looks cool. it makes me feel hip and special, and i love you for just laying there and letting me put whatever i want in you. you are so patient and kind. and i promise you soon, you will get your place in the spotlight.
i super dig you, little avacado sprout. yes, you are a craft/experiment that kids in kindergarten do. and yes, you've struggled and have taken longer than expected to reach sprouting stage. but hey - we're in this together. and i promise to give you nice places to live in, and water you lots, as long as you promise to keep giving me something to look forward to every morning. just keep being you!
i super dig you, little apartment of mine. i'm sorry. you've been getting a lot of slack lately. you're tiny, and i can't hang things on your walls, and you are cold in the winter, and you don't let a lot of light in. but listen - i don't feel like i'm home, unless i'm with (in?) you. you keep my stuff all safe and sound. and you've been through a lot! and even though i've been tough with you, you still keep me cozy and happy. and hey! you gave me the best landlord friends EVER. i love you. i promise i'll keep cleaning and tidying you and make sure you look your best for visitors. and hey -
can you and i keep spending lots of time together, just the two of us? it's some of my favourite times.
i super dig you,
homecoming weekend. you're coming. and every year, you give me a reason to wear purple tights, gold lame booty shorts, and watch football and dance the night away. and hey - i'll forgive you for being a yearly reminder of bad decisions past. but ONLY because you often provide me with a football game being won, lots of scheduled time with friends who i don't get to see enough (because i'm selfish and want to see them ALWAYS) and
perfect weather for reminiscent university galavanting. you + me = next weekend? let's do this.
i super dig you, big blue egg container thingy (i'm very eloquent). because even though you don't match anything else in my house, and you make my dresser look cluttered,
you represent a history to me. one that makes me smile. and when i open up your little blue covered body to decide on a big pair of earrings to wear, i remember my dad (who brought you back to me - saving you from a potentially unstylish home in russia). and since
i super dig him, anything that makes me think of him is good. so that's why i let you two special things be together - the russian egg to hold my precious earrings, and my precious earrings to keep the russian egg company. (only someone who creates jewelry thinks this in depth about their jewelry). (whatever).
i super dig you,
hippie water. because you make me feel healthier than i am. and you were mentioned! like celebrity status! "
what's in that stuff - your girlfriend's hippie water" that was you! and we did that together.
you make me feel good, and you're yummy. and even if you're not actually doing much for me in the way of health, it's all about perspective. thanks for being something worth spending time on in the morning.
and hey.
you there - vertebrae. yes, you. you thought i forgot about you, didn't you? listen. i know we've been fighting lots lately, but i have to say -
i super dig you too. if people think
i'm a trooper, they have no IDEA the pain YOU'VE been feeling. thanks for sticking it out, even though i put you through high heels and ATV-ing, hiking and 45 minute walks to work (sorry for those things, by the way). i dig your persistence, and seriously -
if it were possible for someone to give their own back a high five, i'd do it. man - you're one tough muscle/bone structure. thanks for being there. 'cause otherwise i'd be like the worst jellyfish ever (i'm TOTALLY not see through enough). how about a gold star?
all of you make life that much better - you make me smile all the time. it's a tough job to be you, but someone's gotta do it. if you were actual humans (or animals even), i'd give you all props. but.... i can't. so just keep being you, and i promise i'll keep loving you for it.
you keep me sane. in times like this. you remind me that there is good all around me. and that it will all be ok.
