When I found
this post on unbrelievable’s blog (I think her and I think a lot alike), I acknowledge.
Clicked through. Forgot, and then found it again.
And read.
"I used to think there was courage in this. Then I graduated college, dated lots of randoms and upon my latest breakup—with someone, I hate to say, I suspect is my Mr. Big—realized that not only is that kind of pretending not bravery whatsoever, but it demonstrates a cowardice of deadly proportions, a fear that’s directed towards no one but yourself and your emotions. If you never let yourself feel the anger and the sadness, it doesn’t mean it goes away. It just means that you’re going to get caught off-guard six months later when you see your ex at the Jane Hotel, duck behind a banister, find your friends, take 12 shots at the bar and while puking on the sidewalk, wonder why the fuck you ducked behind that banister.
No one, and I mean absolutely no one, should apologize for how they feel. Yes, of course, you don’t want to bother your friends, they’ve listened to this shit enough, but forget about them, help yourself and cry and get as mad as you want to be for fucking sake. This is how humanity works, we feel things and one of those things is pain. You deserve to open a window onto the Bowery and scream, “I FUCKING HURT!” or to crumble into the couch, doing nothing but thinking about your pain, your relationship, your last few memories of being happy with him. Play Claire de Lune, “Nothing Compares 2 U” and “Staring at the Sun” over and over and over until the day you actually don’t want to hear it again.
Because eventually, you’ll realize that there is no true permanence in this life. Suddenly, it really doesn’t matter that he’s seeing someone else because you remember that you’ll see someone else. And it’s a true blue, honest to god Okay, not the shitty plastic Okay you had been using before that only worked half the time and kept cracking along the edges.
That’s why when my best friend asked me if I was okay, I said, bitch please…I can’t even be bothered to pretend like I’m okay."
And I’ll say exactly what bre said.
Read it. This is good shit.
